Pooniversity

September 30, 2005

During the hours of midday, the Pooniversity of Michigan has discovered the existence of a new disease. Two Muslim students: Maryam Cheeky and Hafsa Park have contributed many hours of their time greatly for this discovery. “We have found a new disease,” said Hafsa bluntly. The state of Michigan has recognized these wonderful teenagers for their contribution to science by giving them each a sports car. “These sports cars are wonderful!!!!” said Maryam cheekily. Hafsa was later found in her Lotus Elise driving through the streets and was given a $3,500 ticket by a fat mean Police Officer. “It’s not fair, just because his jelly doughnut fell to the floor he released his anger on me!” Ms. Park said. She was found cussing severely when she wrote the hefty check.
The symptoms of this terrible disease are: repeated usage of the bathroom, green poo, blue poo, purple poo, or yellow poo. These symptoms also give off very bad odors and are common to the residents of Pooland. “We are enraged that such a disease exists, it is very contagious, especially through forums,” declared Ms. Cheeky. The disease was found only in one of the existing residents of Pooland, Mr. Omar (otherwise known as Poomar). It was tragic. Now, the name of this pathological disease is Poolehria. If you have had any of the above symptoms or have had a severe case of diarrhea, we suggest you move to Pooland and stay away from forums. “I believe Pooland would be the best place to evacuate to, since it has a wide variety of bathrooms,” Ms. Hafsa informed us late last night. The Pooniversity of Michigan is looking further into this case and has held Poomar in custody. “Why are you holding me??? I didn’t do anything!! It is NATURAL!” We are pained to inform that this may have all been Mr. Omar’s fault and we should hang him because the entire state of Michigan risks being infected. In conclusion, for this flu season, don’t only look out for flus, be on the lookout for Poolehria and its toxic gas. “May God help us all,” said Ms. Maryam.

Donations for the complusary purchases for Glade Air Freshening products, please visit www.scjohnsonafamilycompany.com for more information on how you can help.

KING KONG!!!

Things you should know about one of the year's greatest movies:
-the Natives are disturbing creatures=bring earmuffs and sunglasses.
-Near the end of the movie, Ann's dress is seethrough=bring telescopes.
-When captured by a big ape=Bring "The Idiots Guide to Dancing".
-Never mistake another man for one of the most famous writers, the writer may write a comedy for you and fall in love with you=bring magnified glasses.
-When attempting to murder a dinosaur, break its jaw=bring an Asian dentist.
-When Shooting a movie scene, never look at Jack Driscoll=bring a girlfriend along with you.

Thank You =)

written by:
anonymous